I went to Ozzfest the other night, its started out pretty lame, i had lawn seats, everyone was throwing mud at each other (which was a tad bit fun). So stood at the gate which stops us common lawn folk from going into the promise land of covered seats. As the night continued i heard one hit wonders and then more one hit wonders. At this point everyone was pissed and Slipknot was about to play. With the first strum of there many guitars a huge pit started and i was able to sneak into the promise land of covered seats. With a smile on my face i got closer and closer till the next usher was up so i stood on thet side of the pool and watched Slipknot. Then I awoke and realized Slipknot sucked they were nothing but noise, so i watched the attractice ladys next to me flash there big bouyant breasts for a while and then i left the the safety of the covered seats do to bordem. I battled my way to the bathroom took care of what I had to. When i came out an angel sent from God approached me and offered me a seat. He explained to me his friend bailed out and he couldnt scalp it to anyone, so i thanked him and walked down to the seats, when i got there i looked at the stub, Front Row Center, the holy land, the place everyone wishes they were. So i sat down and enjoyed seeing Marilyn Manson piss people off. After Manson was done only one band was left and That Was Black Sabbath. Ive seen then plenty of times before but always from a great distance (I do not know the Natzis at Ticket Master) So i sat trying to hold my smile so i would fit in with the rich yuppies from the town as they waited to see somethign that they always have had the luxury of seeing Ozzy Front and Center. (for those of you that dont know i worship Ozzy (in the only way a mortal can be worshiped) and as he walked on stage my eyes were glued to him for the whole set, at some points we even made contact. (being the tall man i am i towered over everyone else). For all of you that have seen Ozzy you know what was next to happen: the drenching of the audience, Ozzy smiled at me on many occasions dipped his head in the bucket of ice cold water and splashed it right on me (now i feel i share the same bond as Ozzy forever of hair has shaired the same fluid WE ARE ONE). Ozzy wouldnt end there after he psyched me out by almost giving me his harmonica (they girl with the huge breasts got them) he pulled out his water blaster laughed and sprayed me in the face this must of happened about 5 times threw out his set, Now i can Die happy

It was the best day of my life
I got to know with my god with him still staying mysterious