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This could belong in the TV/MOVIES thread, but what the h..
"You’ve got the intelligence of diaharrea, and the breeding of a maggot. There’s no way you’ll pass the exam Lister!" Rimmer, Red Dwarf.
"Words, sweet words, that’ll turn into bitter orange wax in my ears."
Fry – Futurama"you’re about as helpful as a condom machine in the Vatican"-Red Dwarf
"She’ll sing at me, I know she will"-Emmet (Keeping up Appearences)
hey, keen, new smileys! :slap: :aliensmile:
"You know, the Nazi’s had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear." (Office Space)
"Why shouldn’t I lie to myself? I’m an excellent liar, and I’m very gullible." (Hurlyburly)
(Edited to say: Robert, I edited the title because there seemed to be nothing wrong with its spelling.
)"’Iwant to buy you dinner, then go back to my place to watch kun fu’
‘I. . .love. . .Kung Fu’"
-Office Space"You’re not arguing, you’re just contradicting me!"
"No I’m not!"
-Monty Python"So much has been said about the girls over the years. But we have never found an answer. In the end, it didn’t matter how old they were, or that they were girls…only that we had loved them. And they did not hear us calling, still did not hear us calling from out of those rooms…where they went to be alone for all time. And where we will never find the pieces to put them back together." – Virgin Suicides
"Buffy, it’s like we’re sisters. With really different hair." – Buffy The Vampire Slayer
"Oh, that’s a definite overshare." – Bring It On
"This is my corn. You people are guests in my corn!" – Field of Dreams
"Peace, love, dope! Now get the hell out of here!" – Also Field of Dreams
"I’m not even supposed to be here today!" – Clerks
"Then – I don’t mean to sound ungrateful – but what are you doing hanging around?" "We’re here to pick up chicks." "Excuse me?" "We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?" – Dogma
"I love the smell of commerce in the morning!" – Mallrats
"I’m Baldwin and these are the Whiffles. And we’re proud to be square!" – Cry Baby
Trying to get down some sensible thoughts regarding "Principles of Succesful Public Communication Campaigns," well..it’s not easy is it. Instead I’m drawn towards this board, and countless other more or less mindnumbing activities. Such as writing down Red Dwarf quotes for your displeasure.
"Your eyes are like two limpid pools of loveliness, your hair is like a golden waterfall. Plus those short skirts you wear make me really horny." Rimmer
"I have a medium-sized fire axe buried in my spinal column. That sort of thing can really put a crimp on your day. " Kryten
Rimmer: "Step up to Red Alert!"
Kryten: "Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb. ""An excellent and inventive suggestion, sir, with just two tiny drawbacks: a) We don’t have any jet-powered rocket pants; and b) there’s no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants outside the fictional serial "Robbie Rocket Pants"."
– Kryten"Don’t give me this Star Trek crap, it’s too early in the morning." -Lister
"Can’t you tell the story is not gripping me? I am in a state of
non-gripness. I am completely smegging ungripp-ed!" – Lister" Love is a device invented by bank managers to make us overdrawn. " – Rimmer
" So let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you’re telling me you’re completely sane? "
– Rimmer"Please rush me my portable walrus polishing kit. Four super brushes to tackle even the trickiest of sea-bound mammals. Yes, I am over 18, although my IQ isn’t." – Rimmer
Holly: I’ve got to admit it—I’ve flamingoed up.
Rimmer: You what?
Holly: It’s like a cock-up, only much, much bigger.Lister: Love is what separates us from the animals.
Rimmer: No, Lister, what separates us from animals is that we don’t use our tongues to clean our genitals.Rimmer: I never agreed with my parents’ religion but I wouldn’t dream of knocking it.
Lister: What were they?
Rimmer: Seventh Day Advent Hoppists. They believed that every Sunday should be spent hopping. They would hop to church, hop through the service and hop back home again.
Lister: What’s the idea behind that then?
Rimmer: Well, they took the Bible literally. Adam and Eve, the snake and the apple, everything. Took it word for word. Unfortunately their version had a misprint. It was all based on 1 Corinthians 13, where it says "faith, hop and charity, and the greatest of these is hop." So that’s what they did every seventh day. I tell you, Sunday lunchtimes were a nightmare. Hopping around the table serving soup. We all had to wear sou’esters and asbestos underwear.Lister: I prefer something slightly more melodious. Like the long, drawn-out death rattle of a man suffering from terminal flatulence.
Cat: Yeah, it’s awful, man, when a woman screws you up so bad you want to become a squirrel.
I mean to have you even if it must be burglary – Uncle Monty, Withnail and I
Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, and for once I am inclined to agree with Withnail. We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell – I, Withnail and I
You’re drunk
I assure you I am not officer, I’ve merely had a few ales – WithnailAren’t you getting ridiculously high?
Precisely the reason I am smoking it.This is the new cut, y’all be bad whoop whoop whoop – Up in Smoke
Forgive me if I smeg them up a bit.
Rimmer-How’s it going with your double
Lister-It’s terrible, her idea of a good time is to get drunk and burp "Amazing Grace"
Rimmer-But Listy, that’s your trademark
Lister-Yeah, but when I do it its got class."now I know why dogs lick their genitals, it’s to cover up the taste of their food."
-Lister"It’s my duty, My duty as a complete and utter bastard!"-Rimmer
Justice World-"would Lister describe the accused as a friend?"
Lister-"No, I’d describe the accused as a Git."
Justice World-"Are there no others who have shared moments of intimacy with him?"
Lister-"Only one, But she’s got a puncture."BTW, when Lister sleeps with his female self, did he commit incest or masturbation?
Malcolm,
great to see those Red Dwarf lines! I’ve been watching all eight seasons over and over again this fall, thousands upon thousands of great quotes and dumbass situations.
As for the Lister on Lister situation, interesting question -wonder what Freud would have made of it."It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?" – Fry, Futurama.
"WHAT!?! BUT??? WHY…. ARGH!!! IT MAKES ME SOOOO, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FACED FUCK FUCK FUCK, THE COMPUTER…. IT JUST…. WHERE’S MY FUCKING THESIS?!? WHAT’S WITH THIS FUCK FUCK FUCK, IT JUST BROKE DOWN.. I CAN’T. IT ISN’T. WHY?!? MY THESIS… GONE… FUCK FUUUUUCK. I’M GONNA.. I SWEAR I’LL… FUCK FUCK FUUUUCK. MY THESIS. GONE!!!!" – Linus, next to me -3 minutes ago, realising that a weeks worth of work on his exam went down the drain as the computer broke down and refused to start again. We have to hand in the thesis in about 30 hrs.
sidenote, I’m sitting amongst the ruins of a computer. it’ll be great fun hearing how he’ll explain this to the schools administration on monday morning.. slamming the schools property into the wall in frustration might not be met by happy faces.
"I hate to see a good woman drink bad wine"
"Then you’d better leave, because I’m getting plastered"
-National lampoons europe"Did we give up when the Germen’s bombed Pearl Harbor!?!"
-Animal House"Everyone’s a little Queer, but can’t she be a little straight?"
-Weezer". . . and who listens to Fusion Bass solo albums? Other Fusion bassists."
-Coworker"Soooo, I hear I’m trying to be like you, Malcom. Is it because you are so damn cool? I want to spend my weekends at Hot Topic hitting on some girl who has no clue who I am, too! What do you do, bore her to death with your constant babble about indie rock? Very nice. I’m sure she’ll love you to death. By the way, I love the Radiohead sticker in your car. But I don’t know, man, don’t you think you might be risking your extreme indie rock ways by advertising for a mainstream band? "
-Anonymous Email I recieved today. I think I’m offended.I don’t know for sure, but I think that email would make a great letter to the editor in a certainThat’s Lifeweb column. Teen angst, jealousy, identity issues…what more could you ask for
Allison
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