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Title says all, Let us Vent!
-Bands should never EVER cover any old schmaltzy song, or recent song, in a smug "ironic" manner. It isn’t funny anymore. Sometimes it’s okay if they do a ‘straight’ cover and let the song be funny on its own idiotic accord, but this ‘aren’t we cleaver’ bullshit needs to die.
-If you weigh twice the average weight of a person in the pit, don’t jump in and run around like a gorilla. The point of the whole thing isn’t to beat the shit out of people.
-Unless you’re in the Pogues, the Replacements, or Guided by Voices, don’t get inebriated before you get on stage. Actually, I’ll make another exception to this, if you’re in the Guerilla Biscuits or Good Riddence, you guys are allowed to get inebriated too. I’ll even buy the beer.
-If you have an unusual instrument in your lineup, like a violin or flute or such, be sure to have a loud enough amp so the audience can HEAR the damn thing. If the amp isn’t loud enough, then TURN YOUR AMP DOWN. What a fascinating concept.
Now it’s your turn to vent.
I’ll add some:
– If you’re a drummer, please do not clap along with your hands over your head. You look like a jackass.
– If you’re selling merchandise for a band, don’t look annoyned when someone asks you a question… like say ‘how much for this cd that has no price on it?’ If you’re trying to sell stuff, try not to annoy customers.
– All Ages shows (now that I’m 21+)
– Poor ventilation
– Venues where the floor slants upwords towards the stage. I’ve been to several.
Some more specific bashing:
– If the number of people in your band is > # of people in crowd, DO NOT PLAY (see: Olivia Tremor Control)
– If you blow a bass amp at the end of your miserable set with one song left, DO NOT WASTE 15 MINUTES replacing it, just to play one more awful song (see: Superdrag @ Cats Cradle last fall)
– If you whine about how tall the microphone stand is, shut up or adjust it. (see: Evan Dando) :slap:
– If you’re on a guided by voices internet mailing list, it doesn’t make you any cooler to stand togetehr at the side of the stage at a GBV show. It just gives the crowd something more to laugh at.
– Do not try to nail your drumkit to a gymnasium floor (See: Don Cabralerro)
– Do not try to light your cymbals on fire while drunk (See: Murder City Devils)
– Do not whine about how no one comes to your show except your family, even though you haven’t released a record in 4 years, or a good record in 9 years (See: Lou Barlow in Columbus)-Jamie, waiting for 5pm
If you are a support act, remember that the majority of the audience isn’t coming to see you, so don’t behave like you’re the big stars… (about all the sh*t bands [most of them Dutch] supporting in the Old Hall of the Melkweg….
)If you’re an organiser don’t sell 1400 tickets for a dangerous building site that holds a maximum of about 800 people :slap: (White Stripes at the Paradiso last week)
If you want to talk to your friends, go to the pub next door….
-If you’re a singer, don’t ask the audience to stand up, dance, "go crazy," "go nuts," put their hands over their heads, or clap along. If the band is any good, they’ll do this on their own.
-If the audience is singing along, DON’T STOP, we paid to see you, not a bunch of assholes with poor pitch recognition skills.
-If you haven’t recorded anything, and don’t have a following, don’t sell merchandise at your show.
-The price of any CD at the show should be less than the number of songs on it (this is not a joke).
-If you are an opening act, don’t put a banner up.
-If you are a headlining act, don’t put a banner up.
-and if you are some goddam formerly-reppy mall punk bitch, don’t stand in the front at a punk show and look scandelous when somebody from the pit runs into you. Its a fucking punk show, there will be a pit of some sort you dillhole.
If you schedule a two-day American knockoff of Glastonbury with Radiohead, Beck, Beastie Boys, Sigur Ros, Blur, Underworld, Spiritualized, Liz Phair, Thievery Corporation, N.E.R.D., the Roots, Elliot Smith, Ours, Tortoise, Interpol, and more, and book it in Long Island making Jaron take time off work and make expensive reservations, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD: DO NOT PLAY SOME STUPID "IS THE SHOW CANCELLED OR IS IT NOT?" RIGHT UP UNTIL THE DAY OF THE EVENT!!!
Watch those cigarettes in a crowd people, I’ve had a couple jackets burned at gigs due to drunken people not being careful with their smokes
If the singer in your band decides to play ape up in the balcony swinging around, don’t stop playing the song & watch…keep playing
Tonic Water is a carbonated beverage, don’t empty the bottles into pitchers to use for the whole nite…it goes flat & spoils the cool experience of a…
"Valentine Frankenstein" wrote:Watch those cigarettes in a crowd people, I’ve had a couple jackets burned at gigs due to drunken people not being careful with their smokes Hey, you should move to California! It’s against the law for people to smoke inside bars and clubs and all public buildings! It’s great.
Malc-I think Gorilla Biscuits are straight edge so you can`t buy them beer
so just spend extra on Good Riddence I got one:
-don`t play a guitar that could fall apart(happened to Rick of Eric`s Trip)Yes, don’t throw water on the gutarist while he is holding and/or playing his ELECTRIC (doesn’t seem obvious enough for some people…) guitar.
Don’t tell people that they can’t bring in food to a LOLLAPALOOZA festival, only to have TWO food stands open because of backwash and heavy rainstorms (I can go on for hours about this one!!!)
Talking when quiet is required SUCKS!!
A sold-out show in a place that has NO AIR CONDITIONING!!! UUUUGHHH!!!!
Too much cigarette smoke in enclosed spaces is also starting to bother me a lot!!! (Must be my old age)
Quote:Malc-I think Gorilla Biscuits are straight edge so you can`t buy them beer so just spend extra on Good RiddenceSalami-Good Riddence is ostentatebly straight-edge as well, that’s WHY I’ll buy the beer for them fellas.
I did`nt know Good Riddence was straight edge,I thought you said you know someone that got drunk with one of them
if you’re very tall, please be kind and don’t stand in the middle of the front row
you’ll block the sight for dozens of others who didn’t pay to see your back…and chattering constantly, and louder than the music, can also be very annoying
Quote:I did`nt know Good Riddence was straight edge,I thought you said you know someone that got drunk with one of themThey are SXE, thats why the story makes me laugh. Yeah, I have a school friend named Gina who has a genuine (gutter) punk past. Hitchiking, Road Trips, Squatting, Drug Addiction, Shavedhead, coloured hair, yadda yadda. Anyway, she’s from Billuxi (sp?) Mississippi, and saw these guys play in Louisiana. Apparently before the show she went off with the guitarist and got pretty shitfaced. And yes, she made out with the guy, who was wearing a wedding ring! fucking crazy it is.
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