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don’t know why this struck me as being so funny but I did enjoy it a bit
ha,ha,ha……….my favorite pieces,
1.Don’t sing if you aren’t one of the dudes on stage getting paid to do it. Nobody paid their hard-earned money to hear your dorky, untalented ass sing. We came to hear the dudes on stage sing. amen
(I’m tellin’ you J can sing, if ever in doubt come to one of his solo shows and take a listen around you)2.The "merch guy" is not your friend. In fact, all the merch guy wants to do is get through the night without having to talk to your lame ass. The only reason he might talk to you is because you either A) Know where to get drugs. B) Your girlfriend is hot, and by talking to you he can K.G.B. his way into her pants. D) Know where he can get either drunk or high for free.
, Okay, I knew a guy in Atlanta that was the "merch guy" so definitly A) or D) he actually drank and doped so much that I don’t think he would be thinking of getting into anyones pants or even being capable of doing anything once he got in them or something like that.3. If you go up and begin conversation with the band while they’re loading equipment out at the end of the night and you don’t at least offer to help, you deserve to be cut into little fucking pieces. The band wants to get the shit in the van and get the fuck out of your dumb ass corn & wheat truckstop town, and you’re not helping matters.
Actually I love the get the fuck out of your dumb ass corn and wheat truckstop town, but I would never suggest that anyone offer to help move anything, thats crazy because people don’t want you to touch there stuff. Happened this summer in Athens, someone offering to help and the band lost some stuff, uncool, well stupid on their part also, I lived to many years in NYC to ask anyone I don’t know to "help" me load anything into a car.FUNNY STUFF
…more rules, but now for the band…
Quote:19) If you play bass make sure you have only 4 strings. If you play guitar make sure you only have 6 or less."by talking to you he can K.G.B. his way into her pants"
what the hell does that mean? what are the kids talking about these days?!also, where is the "don’t be front row if you plan on shouting into your cell phone the whole night" rule? if your friend wanted to be there he should’ve bought a fucking ticket like the rest of us!
although I have to say, at the Fillmore show, I didn’t see one cell phone the entire night, and that never happens; it was wonderful
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