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thanks everyone for tips. so far the highlight of my trip has been watching some knackered looking candadidudes and ruskies whacking pucks at eachother at the american airlines centre. going again tomorrow night. no idea what all the fuss is about, but the yokels seem to be enjoying it, and i have a company box that has bad hot dogs and cold beer (so not all bad). everyone seems to be loving my accent (i sound like hugh grant, but look like butterbean), and funnily enough, no, i don’t know prince william.
please, please, please help. alternatively, please tell me where to fly to this weekend. i had to watch the ricky hatton fight (big boxing fan) in a fackin strip club as no one else showed hbo.
please help this englishman in dallas. i’m an alien, oh oh, i’m an alien i’m an alien in dalls. and getting pretty facked off that every meal i order is covered in sour cream and cheese. why aren’t all people from dallas obese?
i sincerely promise to look after any visitors to london who help. as long as you don’t have mullets and say y’all.
see y’all later.
fack, it’s catching…
they must need new talent in dallas! good luck trying to find things to do.. company seats you are a lucky lad!
Well, Dallas certainly sounds like a treat.
I sincerely hope that someone who knows something or someone in Dallas will be able to give you some pointers as to how to survive your stay without suffering long term emotional damages.
Sour cream and cheese ?!!you have to live on the beef… texas has the best steaks around… it is good to put some horseradish on it and then dip it in some worschtiseshires. there is a descent farmers market in dallas i went to when i was there.. good deals on produce and little mexican skeleton statues and such. its right by daley square if i remember right.
captains log….
ok, no one drinks around here. once again, to regress to cockney rhyming slang, i’m fucking mozart and listz. people are still loving my accent, and yet huge men in trucks that one would assume were designed for shipping cattle wish to challenge me to fisticuffs.
there seems to be basketball or advertising on every channel. tonight i watched some canadydudes and ruskies twat a puck around some ice. alas, there were no fisticuffs. until i attempted to perpendicularly dissect a freeway in front of a ford cattletransporter.
the food is still all cream and cheese. how the devil the majority of y’all* texans aren’t on your third triple bypass is beyond my comprehension.
still, i digress. i have met some of the friendliest people i have ever come across (figuratively, not literally, that would have been a masked ball in Cambridgeshire). i’m having a wonderful time, and tonight i purchased a pint of lager for $1.50 (75p, normally what one would offer a homeless for licking ones shoes clean).
I shall sign off with this simple thought – how can i get my shoes off without bending over.
over and out.
drunken ben
-x-
would you like me to send you a copy of Withnail & I ? That way you’ll never really be alone, nor bored.
it’s my last night in dallas and i have gained 540 lbs. if one were to cut me, i would bleed guacamole and sour cream.
i am off to my office christmas party, then heading back to ole blighty, then off to the Alps for a week’s snowboarding.
i’ve actually enjoyed my stay far more than anticipated, and have been made to feel very welcome.
the jukeboxes here are fantastic, plenty of dino, modest mouse, breeders etc. my sightseeing alas has mainly consisted of sports bars.
there is a karaoke bit at our party tonight, and the theme is Texas Chic (oxymoronic if ever I heard…) I am covering myself in the world’s largest tortilla, smothering my face in salsa and going as a hot burrito.
adieu mes amis. jusqu’a la fois prochaine. is fois feminine? it feels like it should be.
It might be my favorite film of all time. You just can’t go wrong with that film.
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