hello i am rich Jeremiah kidnapped me at a local KMart a couple years ago he forces me to work 14 hours and day and give gruel to eat every night. I tried to escape his evil hand of terror once, but i was caught and punished accordingly(i still have scars on my back). This all started when saw Jeremiah buying some monostat seven i pointed and laughed very nelsonesque (for all you simpsons fan) and he threw a shovel at my head. now i live in a shed in his backyard with three computers that i am forced to type on all day long doctors give my fingers 6 more months till they fall off. but please dont try to help me for this is the only life i know and i wouldnt be able to exist in the outside world now, I love Jeremiah he takes good care of me every 6 months he lets me shave me beard, and he throws me a coke every couple weeks if i meet the quotas, so please do not hate him he is a good man
(this is all in fun for all of you people with no sense of humor)