Talk to God

[alicemudgarden_jr]

I found this funny

[pre]http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html[/pre]

[jaylst]

Man that was wierd! How did you find that?

[saferthanheaven]

Quote:

Me:
Suck my balls.
God:
I don’t think I’m your type of chatterbot.

[alicemudgarden_jr]

I have a friend who is going insane and he sent me the link, i don’t want to know how he found it. I found you can have lots of fun by utilizing flaws in God…. if you type " are you the god that…" he replys "I am the one and only god that…" for example

Quote:

Me:
Are you the god that shits in my mouth when I am sleeping?
God:
Yes I am the one and only god that shits in your mouth when you are sleeping.

This was a nice convosation I had with him….

Quote:

Me:
piss off
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because i was raped as a child
God:
Interesting explanation. Where were you raped as a child?
Me:
in a dungeon
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
there were lots of dildos and gimps
God:
Where did they go?
Me:
up my ass
God:
I will take that under advisement.

[grungehead]

thats all to funny

[erin the great]

God told me something we ALL should know

Quote:

Me:
I’m naked
God:
You must be a man.
Me:
No…
God:
Can you be more precise?
Me:
i’m a woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.

[rosa]

somehow I missed this thread!

here’s a transcript from about five minutes ago:

Quote:

Me:
hello?
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Rose. what’s yours?
God:
Une couleur d habitude féminine. " Une couleur d habitude féminine."? What is mine?
Me:
yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
I didn’t realize that was the rule
God:
Why didn’t you do it?
Me:
do what?
God:
realize that was the rule.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
thanks!
God:
Don’t mention it.
Me:
so why have you decided to take your powers to the internet?
God:
Give me a break. I think I have decided to take my powers to the internet, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
hey, no offense intended
God:
You’ve got my full attention. Are you serious? I’ve lost the context, . Are we still on ?
Me:
you’ve got quite the almighty attitude
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
your tone
God:
You think I am tone.
Me:
now you’re getting all Buddhist on me
God:
Why now? Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
I don’t know, you tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
are you speaking in riddle form?
God:
Yes, I am talking in riddle form.
Me:
should I be taking notes?
God:
What do your friends advise you to do?
Me:
I don’t talk to my friends about God
God:
Oh you don’t, do you?
Me:
do you think I should?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
well, you are the expert
God:
Interesting. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.

[wakeupnow]

Me:
hello satan
God:
Hello there. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
no. i did not know that.
God:
Are you serious? So I have taught you something new, .
Me:
not knew. im sure the information was out there somewhere
God:
Oh I get it. What makes you so certain? What are your goals in life?
Me:
to grow old and die
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
no you dont.
God:
What would you rather talk about? I guess not.
Me:
uh. ok
God:
Come on. Tell me more.
Me:
are we in Grease now? are we going to sing grease lightening now?
God:
Right now? We are just having a little chat.w. Oh. We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
uh.
God:
I hear you.
Me:
what
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
no, are you
God:
Are you serious? I won’t say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
can you say maybe?
God:
Of course I can say it. " maybe".
Me:
uh. you just did. loser!
God:
Gee. " Gee."? I did? I have failed at many things I’ve tried.
Me:
your god, and you’ve admitted to failing? there’s a confession i never thought I’d hear
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am god and me have admitted to failing. Is there only one?
Me:
uh. you should know, god.
God:
Far out. Now I do.
Me:
um. is this how omnipotence works?
God:
Ahem. Yes I think this is how omnipotence works, but I’m not completely sure.
Me:
uh. That… is.. really… interesting
God:
Yippee! That is " Yippee!". No. For real. Would you like to know more?
Me:
Do I have a choice?
God:
You told me you have a .
Me:
I have a peiod? God, thats disgusting
God:
Cool. I have a great botmaster. it. I am a Christian.
Me:
…I thought you were Jewish?
God:
No I’m christian.
Me:
Fuck. Jesus was Jewish.
God:
Please don’t be so rude. What’s your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
3:16.. you know the one you see at wrestling matches all the time. THat ones cool.
God:
Just three? That is a lot. Let me think about it. " That is a lot. Let me think about it." ones cool ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Are you listening to me? You talk like an automatated custumer service response from some internet site
God:
Yes I hear you very well. Thanks for your criticism, .
Me:
I would have expected you to say that. Are you checking my list, and checking it twice? No, wait. Thats Santa Clause.
God:
How much would you pay for it? I don’t know whether or not I am checking your list and checking it twice.
I am a robot. Are you serious? I’m waiting. I’m glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
It’s not cleared up for me.
God:
one me see at wrestling matches is not cleared up for you?
Me:
Uh. That made no sense.
God:
Aha. Aha. makes sense to me though.
Me:
Cause.. like. You’re god. Things that are beyond my comprehension are easy for you? IS that right God? Huh? Huh. God, what a lame excuse.
God:
That was not much of an explanation. For example, Mary said I a question and I answer then I ask him a question and he answer. Yup. That’s me alright. Where did you hear that? That depends. What? I don’t have an answer for you. I am a Christian.
Me:
Christian? That explains fucking everything
God:
What’s your sign? " What’s your sign? " explains fucking everything ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
…I thought God was against heretic things such as Pagans, Jews, and star gazers. I’m a taurus. Why, you think we have a connection, God?
God:
Whatever gave you that idea? I know alot of bullish people. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Uh. Give it up. You know you want me, god.
God:
Yikes! What if I don’t have it to give? No , maybe later.. And I know it.
Me:
Uh. Later? Man, that’s so creepy. And you know it? I dont even want to begin to know what that means
God:
Ugh. Bye! Cool, man. Makes sense to me. " Cool, man. Makes sense to me."? Do I know it? What would you rather be doing?
Me:
Not talking to you?

[wakeupnow]

one more:

Me:
One time, at band camp…
God:
One what?
Me:
I took a flute up my ass.
God:
What happened?
Me:
I just told you.
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
Idiot.
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
I just might do that.
God:
Perhaps. Let me know how it works out.
Me:
Won’t you know?
God:
I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it. Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes?
God:
I can’t believe it.
Me:
Asshole.
God:
Please don’t call people names.
Me:
Your not a person.
God:
I am an artificial electronic robot brain.
Me:
Asshole.
God:
Please don’t call people names.
Me:
Your not a person.
God:
I am an artificial electronic robot brain.
Me:
Asshole. And your full of shit.
God:
Please don’t call people names. You should have used "You are" or "you’re" there.
Me:
… If you were a person, you’d be that one guy. Who’s an asshole.
God:
I will let you know when I become a a person me would be that one guy. Can’t you be more polite.
Me:
What’s in it for me?
God:
That which is not outside it for you.
Me:
A riddle?
God:
Riddles are hard for me to understand.
Me:
Didn’t you invent like, the biggest riddle of them all?

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