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Pissing is the English way. That’s why US girls don’t date us, which is why the film Notting Hill (did you get that in the States?) was so unbelievable. Julia Roberts would have taken one look at Hugh Grant, in his dirty pants, soaking wet, and mad as a fish, not to mention gay as a window, and run off with his richer older brother. I should be a continuity guy in the movies – an English advisor if you will….
Everyone here is too dagnamed nice. Better to regret something you have done rather than not. Believe me, 19 is a perfectly acceptable age to play around, and find out what you want. Again, better to make mistakes at 19, than end up living with someone for years and wonder how to get out of that (sleeping with sisters and mums is the most direct route). It’s nice to have a conscience though Malky, but don’t sweat it too bad – just tell her that you ain’t up for anything too serious, and obviously don’t go round again, especially after you’ve been boozin. Alternatively:
1. tell her you’re gay.
2. tell her you are a mentalist, and have a "fake" episode in front of her.
3. go round wearing dirty pants (underwear, not trousers). Chicks don’t dig that kinda stuff (in my experience – from what people have told me, not through wearing dirty pants myself).
4. sleep with her mum and sister.
5. introduce her to your cuter, more fiscally sound elder brother.
6. wet yourself in front of her.Hope these helped – I have used all (except for number 3) to great advantage in the past.
Best wishes.
Who did you sell the rock to, me or Allison?
Got any Orb?
Any more banjo led tunes in the pipeline? How about using a lute?
Jaspar – listen to some Jordan stuff – treasures or flying home if you can find it. you’ll see what I mean.
salami – that version of stairway rocks! And let’s not forget some of our man’s choice covers…. Leavin’ on a jet plane…
I love every track J has ever done, so please do not mis-undertand me, all’s I am saying is that there is a lot of d’s, em’s, g’s and c’s going on (admittedly, he uses a capo a lot). Even listening to someone like Evan Dando – what the fuck is the chord progression in something like Rudderless?
J is still without a doubt my God (alongside Paolo di Canio), but best guitarist ever? See what he would make of that. He still (from what I’ve read) considers himself a drummer first and foremost anyways.He is without doubt my favourite musician ever, although you gotta be careful throwing around things like greatest guitarist ever. I am sure all the musicians will agree with me that you can hear a J tune a couple of times and play it fairly easily, but try playing a Stanley Jordan tune by ear.
"this is the time of our great undoing"
from Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – straight to you.
I just love his laid back sleeze and loved Henry’s Dream when it came out.Get well soon. It could’ve been even worse. Mattman could’ve been the male nurse wiping your arse (and loving it).
Guy walks into work one morning and finds a colleague laughing really hard at his desk. "what’s up" he asks his mate. "well, this morning I made a Freudian slip" "what the hell is one of those" he asks.
"It’s when you say what is on your mind, rather than what you mean, so, I was at the train station, and the lady serving tickets had incredibly large breasts, and instead of asking for a ticket to Tooting (station in London), I asked for a ticket to titting!"
They both laugh and get on with their work.the next day, the other guy comes in to find his mate pissing himself with laughter at his desk. "What’s so funny" he asks. "I made one of your Freudian slips this morning" he says. "My missus asked me what I wanted for breakfast this morning, and instead of saying bacon and eggs, I said "fuck off you fat ugly bitch, you’ve ruined my life!"
or this?
A little girl came running into the house bawling her eyes
out and cradling her hand: "Mummy, quick! Get me a
glass of cider!" she wailed. "Why do you want a glass of
cider?" asked mum. "I cut my hand on a thorn, and I want
the pain to go away!" Confused, but weary of the child’s
whining, the mother obliged and poured her a glass of
cider.
The little girl immediately dunked her hand in it. "Ouch! It
still hurts! This cider doesn’t work!" whined the little one.
"What are you talking about?" asked her puzzled mom.
"Well, I overheard big Sis say that whenever she gets a
prick in her hand, she can’t wait to get it in cider!!"er, I take it you didn’t like it then.
how’s about this.
There’s a Mexican, a Russian, and an American floating
on a raft in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The Russian
pulls out a quart of Vodka takes one swig and throws the
rest over the side.
The American says… What the hell did you do that for?
The Russian says (in Russian voice)…In my country we
have plenty too much Vodka. The Mexican pulls out a
quart of Tequila, takes a swig and throws the rest
overboard.
The American says…What the hell did you do that for?
The Mexican says (in a Mexican accent)… In my country
we have too much Tequila. The Russian says to the
American…
What do you have too much of in your country? The
American picks up the Mexican and throws him
overboard.No offence to any Mexicans – I am half Mexican myself.
Juan Javro el paso.
it takes me about three months to keep up with people’s name changes. like yours though.
yeah, not really that cold then I guess (-30??!! my heart would stop). although being the folically challenged chap that I am, I am in dire need of a big hat – my alien workshop beenie has gone AWOL. off boarding in a couple of weeks (tignes le lac, and then the rockies) so am expecting even colder weather. this javro was made for sun, although still sports a scottish tan…
