[Annastefka]

Thanks from me also…although I couldn’t figure out how to align either…I tried. Oh, I so adore J Mascis…and love the part about the silence….Gemini’s being the opposite of Sag….Ican say, I really enjoy just spouting off gibberish and like letting the words fall where they may. Sagittarius make the best friends however, because they are so low maintenance…I like that. They seem to never be in town…and when they are they don’t answer their phone….they don’t care if you forget their birthday…because they will probably forget yours too. When you complain to them that they never call …they say "what, I called you two weeks ago"…and then you remember, oh, yeah…you called when you were out of town and you needed me go over to your house and water your plants and make sure that their wasn’t a dead, decaying mouse in the trap under the sink"…I’m sorry, I forgot. Just when you think your friendship is over they invite you to go out of town with them and take you to all their favorite restaurants and stores, keep you up until 3 in the morning making you laugh…they’re the sun sign I find most likely to fall asleep with their shoes on…I suppose it’s because they always have someplace they got to be going to as soon as the sun rises up. My favorite lines to use with my Sag friends are "of course, my horse, whatever you want" and "Hey,hey,hey, why the long face, were you born that way or has it happened over time?" Girl Sags don’t find that one as funny as the boys do. Hmmmmmm I wonder why?

the above post is one fine example of Gemini gibberish, if I do say so myself. Peace to you too, my fine Freakscene Brothers and Sista’s

[Annastefka]

I think that should have been written "shoot"…I’ve had some brain issues as of late…I don’t know what is going on but my brain is slowing down….when I drive our truck and then switch to my car, I spend the first 15 minutes…instinctively reaching down to shift and moving my foot to a clutch that is not there…never in my life has that happened before….my brain just is having trouble working at the correct speed. My husband will speak Spanish to me and it use to be just instinctive, second nature and now sometimes I’ll just stare at him and say "What?" …I think, like Murph, I need more bananas and spirulina in the morning smoothie or something.
[img]http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:7PeprKJXMXTXeM:http://www.healthyprism.com/catalog/green%2520vibrance.gif[/img]

I’ve been out of Green Vibrance for a few months….it’s going on my shopping list!

[Annastefka]

Nice shot of you with the gun….always good to shot off a few rounds…it keeps you from being afraid of it.

[Annastefka]

"essgee09" wrote:

Mark had a history of drug problems………… not everyone is thinking with a clear mind

Thanks SG, I think that not everyone is thinking with a clear head when under the influence of drugs is exactly correct….then a thought like suicide is able to settle it’s way into the psyche.
I had to do rehab twice…so I unfortunately understand, really well, what it feels like when your head gets into that space. I remember crying to a counselor that "life is so ugly and the people in it with me are so stupid…I don’t want to "do it" without drugs because without drugs, life is just a bunch of bullshit that I didn’t ask for.

Instead of holding me and comforting me and stroking me like a kitty…and telling me how beautiful I was, how special I was….how needed I was….this large, African American women…got so close to my face that she was misting me with her spit…and she yelled…"shut the fuck up, and get over your damn self" and start working the steps. I had obviously worked the first step because I had checked myself into the hospital. That one was easy.

1. We admitted we were powerless over drugsl— and that our lives had become unmanageable.

Then came step two and three which sort of work together.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him, her, it.

as corny as we can make the 12 step program be…it worked for me (because I worked it)..addiction is a spiritual problem…I never wanted to kill myself however because then I reckoned that I wouldn’t be able to get high…and I really liked getting high.

Also…I would be so afraid of "suicide fail"…in which you are left in a diaper and on a ventilator….the diaper doesn’t scare me as bad as being in that condition and having an itch that you can’t scratch and you can’t communicate the need of a scratch. That terrifies me…Girl talked about living wills here on Freakscene and I don’t have anything like that in writing but…I have always made it understood with my husband…and in his beautiful way…he lets me know…that I would never need to worry…just like the ending of the "Grinch that stole Christmas"…he says he would be thrilled to be the one to "cut the power/pull the plug on me." I’ve told him that I would so honor him as well with the same care if he were to find himself in that situation. Although, it would be tempting to have him immobilized for a few days…so that I could finally talk to him, as it has become increasingly more difficult to get him settled and focused long enough to have a meaningful discussion…and I talk so much that he sort of tunes me out half the time. , , , .
I do love him so much…my horny Latin goat….I’ve sort of been wishing that as he aged that his libido would settle down…but at 48…he is still as amorous and concupiscent as he was on that beautiful February night, 19 years ago, when we ended up in bed together after being "just friends" for over a year. Awwww, life is just too good most of the time.

[Annastefka]

I just don’t get suicide….life is so short….yes, it can be painful at times but it’s going to be over sooner or later…..I hear the suicide comes when the "pain and suffering" is just too much for for someone to handle anymore. Geez…for the love of God…can you not just turn off the TV, drop out of life and go to Africa, India…even some parts of America…where there are children…who know real suffering. Join a monastery…join the Peace Corps….get over yourself…who cares that you just lost your second damn i-phone or your girlfriend has been sleeping with your big brother while you were out of the house.

I’m almost done with my rant…but I think it’s important that parents teach/show their children about their inner spiritual self….then the ridiculousness of the day to day bull shit becomes so readily apparent that you can actually have fun with it…embrace it….laugh about it…I mean for real folks!

If the biggest part of your problem is that you are addicted to something (large part of the suicide problem) then check your self into a hospital….you don’t have insurance….hey, they will still treat you.

I once took a 911 call….where some guy told me that he was going to shoot himself in the face with a shot-gun, it was around 11 in the morning, he told me he was going to leave the door unlocked and he wanted to know if we could have someone come and clean up the mess before his wife and kids got home…because he didn’t want them to have to deal with that….then before I could get a word in…Kaboom…selfish bastard.

One can kill their ego without having to leave behind a corpse, Mark Linkous….I don’t know if he had children but if he did…then life now welcomes him with open arms into the "selfish bastards" club along with all the others.

Heather Campbell…who spends her life, volunteering in the poorest of poor places on Earth and writing about them….wrote this recently about a trip to India:

‘I came across a family who had a child with spina bifida, and the mother told me that the way they coped with this is that they dug a hole in the sand, they were in a fishing village, and then they buried the child in that hole up to his waist each day, so that the child could be upright’. ‘

‘There was another village that we visited that had literally been built on a rubbish dump, and their job was to scavenge the rubbish, so if you could imagine your dwellings being just a few meters away from this stinking heap of refuge, with rats climbing on you as you sleep. It’s very difficult to think of these people, especially the children,having to live in these sorts of conditions all their lives’

Mr. Sparklehorse…should have put down his guitar and used his two good hands to open up some damn bags of rice….and perhaps not be so wrapped up in his own wimpy, puny, Pisces problems. It would be great if he could lay in his coffin (I know, who does coffins anymore it’s such a waste of money) but it would be great if he could lay there with a sign propped up in his hands that says: "IDIOT".

I really didn’t intend to be so mean spirited …and one might turn around and ask, when I die…should I be holding a sign that says "IDIOT"….heck, I don’t know, if you shoe fits…then I be puttin’ it on at that point. I know a few people here in town that have had to deal with the suicide of a spouse or child..and it’s like that person, that they loved…so much…..took a big poop on their life and they can’t open enough windows or strike enough matches to make it any better…although, if they hadn’t been made aware of it before,through struggling to find some relief from their now new found and sudden dose of "pain and suffering" are led to find out that, a therapist is just an expensive albeit well informed good friend and that God’s air is always sweet and temperate.
Back to the garden…I came in for tea….and wrote a whole bunch of wordy words…I hate suicide!

[Annastefka]

Spring Break is here
We all get much needed rest
Winter has to go

I woke up today
and suddenly realized
I wanted haiku

[Annastefka]

Girl…those are such cute photographs.

[Annastefka]

Rumpy…..I enjoyed reading the thread here while drinking my coffee while encouraging everyone to hurry it up a little. When we were discovering Dinosaur Jr. there was no internet…so we couldn’t google anything. I do have a great bit of history that I like to share….My husband claims (he’s a Leo..so you have to take that into account) but he claims we were one of the first families to have internet in the home in our area….it was 1992-and the beginning of 93…and he worked hard with his brothers and set up a computer area in our house. All you could see was computer type…and some code….no pictures….all the time he would remind me of how "great this was"….that we were able to communicate with other folks on the computer. I became pregnant in 93 and he told me, you can find other pregnant mothers to talk to all over the world. I wasn’t impressed…and thought it was a little boring…. I would rather just pick up the phone and talk to my friends. At that time, not many folks had phones outside of the home…a few of my friends did…they called them car phones and they were sort of huge. I remember thinking…talking on the phone while driving…..that’s not right….that will never fly with the public. Wow, how much change we have had in only a short time. The Dad in our house…he is awesome….we have to state that every day…or else he turns into grumpy…which sounds like Rumpy….we have a little boy goat that we call "humpy" and that is also a nickname that I like to call my husband…..he is awesome, but he can be humpy and grumpy from time to time. All done typing on the way to life.

[Annastefka]

I will see what info I can gather..I’ll be seeing Dr. Pope and family in a few weeks…..we do a garden race….kind of see who’s tomatoes do the best…who’s peppers are the hottest…right now we are in the who’s seedlings are off to the best start part of the race. Who will end up with the biggest harvest in the big muff museum…stuff like that. Tsunami…balloon boy…..give me a zucchini for crying out loud.

[Annastefka]

Ouija,Gracias por compartir tus historias de la noche. Yo vivía en Madrid en 1978-79. Me encanta Madrid y todos los de su gente y las panaderías. Aprendí el español dentro de muchas panaderías.

[Annastefka]

Ummm, surprised to see such a wonderful photo of girl.

Now I’m going to post a post in third person just like you all do sometimes…are you ready?

Stefka tosses a huge glass of ice water at her own face in order to redirect her thoughts into more proper channels.

You like it, you like it..I did it!

[Annastefka]

Jeg gjorde ikke vite hvis den online syn ville ikke lykkes. Jeg ser det ikke. Jeg må være forsiktige med ikke å bruke ethvert unusual amerikanske foretagender like – "I’m just saying" or "that sucks for you" fordi de foretagender gjør ikke oversette og skape en verbala disaster. Heldigvis for mig, min mann despises noe knyttet til J Mascis. Dette inkluderer Freakscene. hva gjorde du nyte gjør mens i eders hus i den woods? Jeg er mye å gamle til å gå rinnende i skogen med deg, men jeg må si … jeg hjalp en venn ta henne hester ut av fjøset og den yngste mannkjønn hest var full av energi og spunk … jeg kunne knapt kontroll ham …. jeg stod entusiastiske … fordi jeg suddenly forstått something. Jeg lurer hvordan alt dette går til oversette. Lol.

My favorite bits of Norsk..would have to be…Min Mann and Dett inkluderer….Dett inkluderer is going to become my new favorite slang for women who work hard at blowing every bit of money that their husbands seem to generate. Dett inkluderer many folks I know. I Like you Robert! That’s the name of this thread….You can be min feisty little hesten.

I love setting aside time for coo-coo rico nothingness….like writing to Robert using an online translator. Who’s worried about anything these days…not me.
Hey, you learn something new each day….Now I know the root source of Jeremiah’s last name…I’m a gonna bust my button holes right about now.

[Annastefka]

I’m glad I came here…I got to see those video’s Jeremiah posted…that was great watching those just now.

Today the dow fell again below 10,000 ….Man of Truth, one of my fav fun time vamps on youtube, has been saying for months that the stimulus money was just propping up the economy temporarily…but when Peter Schiff says so…..everyone starts to listen….It’s freakin Peter Schiff….if you are into the financials and into watching your money….(evaporate instead of grow lately)…..listen to this piece from CNBC. He says the dollar is going down in 2010…not 10%, 20%, not even 50%…he says 60 to 70 %…OUCH…..It’s beginning to look a lot like the Weimar Republic around here again. All we have done is set our selves up for a bigger fall. I guess it’s time to really love your garden. He says don’t invest in US stocks, at all…America is done, it’s broke. PETER!!!!!!!!!!! Not afraid to get on TV and tell the truth. Rock um, Sock um Robots….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDXyjv6xTbU yDXyjv6xTbU

gosh, I had to edit this a buch, cause we have lights in the sky tonight and all the kids are outside making a big fuss about it but it seems to be some sort of promo thing downtown. Funny…

[Annastefka]

Du vet Robert …. jeg tror du trenger noen til å ta deg ut i skogen for noen dager … det er hva jeg tror.

[Annastefka]

Awwww, I wuv da pitool of da baby, tze’s toe coot….baby talk coming out after a looong time. Awwww!!!
ADORABLE…..

I forgot, you know why some Yankee’s talk funny? Because their Mothers take them out in the snow and forget to cover up their faces and the inside of their noses and mouths get frostbitten and mushy so air never flows through again the correct way. At least that’s what we were told as children…I’m not kidding.
But I don’t believe that myth…I don’t!

[Author]

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