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Okay, I’m getting at what your saying, but I should also remind you of the origional point of this topic. I was fearing somebody seeing more involvement in this relationship than I was. It makes sense when you read it four times.
Its from the Undertones Classic "There Goes Norman."
Last signature was from Pavements "SIlence Kit"
1) I don’t drink, atall
lessie hear know, Sleep with her mom is DEFINATELY her dad is a farmer, If she found out, he would find out and then he would SHOOT me, definately not. She knows I’m not gay, Both of my brothers are married and not atall fiscally sound.
hmm, so far we have three for confrontation, one for running off, and two for self urination <img>Mattman, I am astounded how such a friendly guy can give such sagelike advice. But to tell the truth, I wasn’t planning on calling her back, but she called me back (I had some textbooks to sell, pretext?) But I’m pretty sure, I will lay low for a while here and think it out. It seems like I was caught in the moment.
Javro, tried the advice, that Bitch stole my mad masturbation powers! <img>
Actually, Jaron, this is a VERY isolated incident in my life. I’m probably the only 19 year old who’s never had a girlfriend (okay, there was that one girl, but that was in first grade!). And if J hasn’t had very many girlfriends, how does he make so many albums about fucking up relationships?
This is really digging at me because there’s another girl I want (see: art thread). BUT I don’t know if she wants me, so it’s a choice between a sure bet and a big risk, with appropriate prizes (for lack of a much better term)
A man is eating his lunch at a resteraunt, when he notices that all of the waiters have a number of spoons in their shirt pocket. He asks one of them whats up and he replied "We had these efficiency experts come in, and they said that spoons are the most frequently dropped piece of silverware, so we carry a few clean spoons around so we don’t have to keep running back to the kitchens."
Sure enough, the man drops his spoon on the floor during the meal, and he is instantly given a clean one by a waiter. He notices that all of the waiters have a string hanging from the fly of their pants.
"Whats with the string" he asks the waiter
The waiter replied-"The efficiency experts decided we could save a few seconds when we go to the bathroom if we don’t have to touch ourselves, so when we go to the bathroom, we just tug on the string and we can go without touching ourselves."
" Thats great," the man replies, "but how do you get it back in"
"well, I don’t know about the other guys, but I use a few of these spoons"Okey, had to cut the first report short, owing to class starting up. Here’s what needs left to be said.
-The car was only banged and dented, pretty badly, but it still runs, I’m driving the (newley christened) ghettomobile to work tommorow.
-My social life is fucked up because I broke two of the big rules of living- I went out on what was essentially a blind date (clause I-don’t go on blind dates) with some secretary my dad works with (clause II-don’t go out with girls your parents pre-approve of). Anyways, she’s a real sweetheart (and she got nice boobs to boot), but I don’t think I want to date her regularly. These days she’s calling me regularly wanting to go out at like ten PM. When you live an easy half hours drive from a person’s home, 10 PM is a late time to start visiting. I also feel a bit funky having my dad in the background, so to speak. So I’m basically trying to attempt the impossible, letting a person off without hurting them badly enough keep them completely unavailable.
RJ (and before I read your profile last week I spent a lot of time wondering about the gender of THAT name!), have you forgotten about the guitarist ERIC JOHNSON? how much mor genaric can you get?
Whats the first thing a soprano does in the morning?
She puts on her cloths and goes home.
A man goes to the doctors office one day and says "you gotta help me doc, I haven’t had a bowel movement in over a week!" So the doctor gives him a laxitive prescription and sends him on his way.
The next week the man comes back again "It didn’t work doc, still nothing." So the doctor gives him a stronger laxative and sends him home.
The next week the man comes back in and say "Doctor, I don’t know whats wrong, I still haven’t had a bowel movement!" So the doctor looks at him and say "what do you do for a living?" The man says "Why, I’m a musician"
"Oh" the doctor replies, "here’s ten bucks, go buy yourself something to eat."
How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
-one but he breaks about six before he realizes you can’t push them in.
-two, one to hold the bulb, and the other turns the throne.
Saint Peter is checking ID’s at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter.
The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn’t sit on my laurels–I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations."
St. Peter says, "That’s quite something. Come on in. Next!"
The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn’t selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children."
"Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who’s next?"
The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime."
"Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?"
St. Peter’s still checking ID’s. He asks a man, "What did you do on Earth?"
The man says, "I was a doctor."
St. Peter says, "Ok, go right through those pearly gates. Next! What did you do on Earth?"
"I was a school teacher."
"Go right through those pearly gates. Next! And what did you do on Earth?"
"I was a musician."
"Go around the side, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen…"
What did the Guitarist get on his IQ test?
Drool
How many bassists does it take to change a lightbulb?
five-one to change it while the other four keep the guitarists from hogging the light.
How do you make a Swiss Roll?
Take him up on a mountain and give him a push.
-Pavement
-The Pixies
-The Smashing Pumpkins (with D’arcy)
-The Clash (but only if they could be "youthinized," I don’t want to see some fat tired old guys mechanically cranking out and killing a half assed rendition White Riot)
-My Bloody ValentineAnd I guess I’d have to choose either the Beatles or Nirvana for the best dead guy band to see.
