[Robert]

Pure frosting !

Although I would like to point out that girl posting stuff like that isn’t random at all.

[Robert]

Yeah, something similar happened to me when I mistook my death ray for a flash light. Oh well, lesson learned, from that day on I’ve always kept my doomsday devices well clear from the household appliances. And after I mastered the noble art of telekinetic tooth brushing and seduction I seldom have the need to have the end of the universe at a button near me.

[Robert]

"girl" wrote:

I like it! It gives you the impression that it’s not above slapping you hard across the face but afterwards it’ll kiss and make it better.

You have no idea how right you are. And I’m afraid I would be censored if I explained to you how and why. Or that the internet would spontaneously combust.

"girl" wrote:

Oh my. I think this is the greatest thing that has ever been typed out on the internet.

Now it’s Robert – 2
Universe – 8

Yay ! I am gaining momentum

[Robert]

Japanese burlesque dancers. Dancing to japanese garage rock. Kimono & leather, it such a winning combination.
I’m not one to kiss and tell, I’m more of the spank and videotape kind of guy, but as for now the standing is
Robert 1 – The Universe 0.

In all fairness, it should probably be Robert 1 – The Universe 979673, but I’m absolutely gobsmacked from my success so I won’t let that bother me right now.

[Robert]

"girl" wrote:

Or is making girls tilt their heads, squint their eyes and tap their bottom lip with a quizzical expression really what you like?

I doubly like it ! Ten times !

I really, honestly, like that tomorrow I’ll be in Spain getting ready for Funtastic Dracula Carnival. I’ve never done it in an UFO before. Not while being concious anyways. And I wholeheartedly accept the challenge the universe has presented me with when it decided to hold the Funtastic Dracula in an UFO. I’m going to make that UFO shake, rattle & roll. And I’ll respect it afterwards.

[Robert]

I like chairs that are also race cars. Or at least lets you pretend that they are. I’m a bit sad that they only make those for miniature people.

Squinting while tilting my head slightly sideways, it makes colours and shapes take on new forms and sometimes they are dinosaurs eating airplanes, or boobies. Just boobies, not dinosaurs eating boobies, that would be a wicked waste of natural resources.

[Robert]

Copenhagen has take away beer. In proper glasses. I am chuffed to bits.

[Robert]

"girl" wrote:

I like that today, tomorrow and the next day I get to do fun grown-up stuff.

Lucky you, three whole days of filling in your taxes, cleaning the gutters, yelling at the electrician who promised the job would be done in two hours but who has spent the best part of the day rummaging your cupboards and trying on your modified girlthongs, and is now so far into the closet that he has legally entered Narnia.

"girl" wrote:

But it’s a little embarrassing when someone knows who you are but you think you are meeting for the very first time.

I’ve told you once, and I’ve told you twice, it comes with the territory when you’re an internet predator.

[Robert]

"girl" wrote:

On one hand I want to sit on your lap but on the other hand I really want to sit on your lap.

Quite the quandary.

*double conondrum high five !*

tonas, it might’ve only been once, but you sure did wiggle those hips of yours while you were doing it. And I’m "sorry" that I administered a quick spank, it’s a natural reflex, a force of habit one could very well say.
Oh well, mum’s the word.

[Robert]

"girl" wrote:

I like stories that are borderline something!

Then come sit on my lap and get ready for storytime !

"girl" wrote:

I like holding pictures hostage and feeling that god like power that comes with it.

That’s just pure evil

For the first time in my life I’ve purchased clothes for miniature people, and to my astonishment I’ve found I like it. So much so that I walked out of there with a lot more than I bargained for. Literally. But then again, I think all boys ages 6 months and up should have clothes with Ramones, AC/DC and Sex Pistols images on them. I was really vested on a Enjoy Milk ! thingy majig, but since it’s for my nephew I didn’t deam it appropriate.

Oh, and I’ve bought a mountain of band aids. Honestly. I’m thinking this’ll keep me safe from being drowned in the toilet for a very long time.

[Robert]

"girl" wrote:

😆

I don’t even know where to start. Oh wait, yes I do! I want to quit my job and just breed giant pigeons all day. Breed giant pigeons and push my finger up against my nose so I can look like Tubbs.

The definition of the good life right there.

"girl" wrote:

Kiera chasing turkeys

Is she by any chance half Samurai ? I bet she is ! Because she’s gotta be tough to chase away such fierce and deadly creatures.

"girl" wrote:

When someone says I’m so thirsty I could suck a snowman’s dick

That reminds me of a story that is so inapropriate it borders on genius. Come to think of it, most everything I remember is borderline something or another.

[Robert]

"girl" wrote:

I’ve never sent anything to Norway before. But I do send items to Finland every now and again. The girl has me lie on the customs forms how much it really is.

The next time I catch the post umpire riding into the village on his postmans donkey, or Ponkey as is the official, government licensed name for this majestic creature, I’ll inquire about the odds of the modified girl thong surviving the rowboat journey across the oceanical barrier.
Should they be slim we’ll have to come up with an alternate plan. Incidentally, does anyone happen to know the maximum tonnage of a homing pidgeon ?
Since our King doesn’t belive in telephones we all have the right to use twelvty pidgeons each year, they’re stationed in The Royal Aviation Herbarium & Furnace Upholsterers located in the other village.

"girl" wrote:

And it must be really special to be someone’s boy too. Someone’s boy equipped with a soldering gun.
That should be made into a movie! You on a mission to rid the arctic of bad guys while simultaneously fusing metals together along the way.
Awesome.

It is definetely special, I’m thinking about getting a t.shirt that reads Elvira’s boy, safe from toilets since 2010. It is a lot of words though, so I might have to get another chest mounted next to mine to fit them all.
I know ! It should be made into a movie ! I’m a ninja with a soldering gun, I cause at least as much damage as the purple ninja I saw in that movie whose name I can’t remember.

"girl" wrote:

ps Hi Kylie Mae. I already love you.

They are good with names

Oh, and I like pictures such as this.
[img]http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/content/images/2007/08/30/leagueofgentlemen2_396x222.jpg[/img]
Edward & Tubbs should be celebrated.

[Robert]

Of Montreal. And I’m still entertaining a tight helmet after the New Pornographers show last night.

[Robert]

"girl" wrote:

I wish people sent more things through the mail. You know…besides my modified girl thongs.

Oi ! Does this mean that I have to pick up the modified girl thong, or could you be persuaded to make an exception for boys in the middle of nowhere, aka Norway ?

I like when cute girls tell me they won’t drown me in the toilet.
& I like that I’ve found my soldering iron.

[Robert]

"girl" wrote:

You just opened up a whole new avenue for my business! Making thongs for men and accepting lawnmower parts as currency! I have to admit I’m excited. Especially about the part when I take measurements.

Fantastic ! I’m looking forward to recieving my modified girl thong modified by girl !

"girl" wrote:

And you know what is the funniest thing about me and cardboard cut-outs? I really did have one. I took it to parties.

Hahahaha ! I am not surprised, but I am ecstatic !

[Author]

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