Complete randomness

[Robert]

I sprained my adventure beard today. From there on everything went down hill. Except when I dislocated my shoulder when trying to jump over a gorge while backcountry skiing this afternoon. That was superb fun.

[girl]

Poor Robert, you are always getting hurt. I should make you one of my patented bubble wrap body suits that all the celebrities are raving about.

[Robert]

No worries, I’ve dislocated my left shoulder so many times that it pops right back in it’s place with a hypnotizing clock sound. Also, my grandfather taught me that one should always try to push the limits when it comes to sports, so I had no choice but to give it a go. True story. Though, he also taught me to never trust a bus driver, but I’m not sure if that’s a valid point in this discussion.

I would like a bubble wrap sexy time body suit though. Very much so.

[tonas]

"girl" wrote:

No, don’t change it back! It’s like you rolled around in the ooze that changed regular turtles into the ninja turtles. So now instead of Tonas you are ninja Tonas!

Sweet…..

[tonas]

So my sons friend goes into a stop and rob (mini mart) and asks where the chapstick is. The Asian guy behind the counter says "Oh I’ll give you some from my secret stash for free" and hands my sons buddy a set of chop sticks. Then he says to him "you know how to use them right?"

My sons buddy came out crying he was laughing so hard, not to mention he still had chapped lips too.

[PunkyJ]

"tonas" wrote:

So my sons friend goes into a stop and rob (mini mart) and asks where the chapstick is. The Asian guy behind the counter says "Oh I’ll give you some from my secret stash for free" and hands my sons buddy a set of chop sticks. Then he says to him "you know how to use them right?"

My sons buddy came out crying he was laughing so hard, not to mention he still had chapped lips too.

That is so eerie in a wonderful sort of way. I wonder what other secrets he has hidden away behind that counter? I have been wanting to put together a list of places to see on my cross-country road trip, and I’m thinking a Stop & Rob Asian dude with a secret stash of chopsticks would be perfect for it.

[malcolm tent]

I had some friends who talked about doing a Waffle House road trip across the south.

[PunkyJ]

It just took me 45 minutes to realize that the movie I was watching was porn… Damn pornos and their moderately-interesting storylines.

[girl]

That must have been a really good porno. Or a bad one.

Usually I know when I’m watching a porno when the curtains are drawn, the lights are off and afterwards I feel ashamed.

[Robert]

"PunkyJ" wrote:

It just took me 45 minutes to realize that the movie I was watching was porn… Damn pornos and their moderately-interesting storylines.

Really ? The DVDA’s, blowjobs and loud moaning didn’t tip you off ?

[Robert]

"girl" wrote:

That must have been a really good porno. Or a bad one.

Usually I know when I’m watching a porno when the curtains are drawn, the lights are off and afterwards I feel ashamed.

Plus, the fact that you’re eating pizza is a tell tale sign, right ?

I’m not sure if this is random enough but I saw what was probably the worlds fattest squirrel today. It had probably escaped from the American Embassy where it was fed bacon cheesecake by PunkyJ.

[tonas]

I wonder if said squirrel was watching porn too, hmm…. squirrel porn.

[girl]

Happy birthday All-Nude!

[Robert]

"girl" wrote:

Happy birthday All-Nude!

I would think that’s about as random as it gets. And I salute you for it.

[malcolm tent]

"PunkyJ" wrote:

It just took me 45 minutes to realize that the movie I was watching was porn… Damn pornos and their moderately-interesting storylines.

I used to tell people at school that I made money writing screenplays to pornographic movies, I managed to convince quite a few.

Also– have you ever seen the show "Good Clean Porn?" The Trio network used to show it. Porn movies without the sex scenes, thereby forcing you to follow the plot and acting in, say "I Dream of Jenna." Simply hysterical.

[Author]

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